shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize