I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
