Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
