He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize