Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
