This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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