butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
