just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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