are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
