I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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