i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
