My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
