it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
