do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
