He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
