Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
