did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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