Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
