Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
