apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
