My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
