using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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