My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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