i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize