So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
