well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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