Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
