Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
