I hate your face
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
