woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
