it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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