Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
