you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
