plz talk dirty to me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
