I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
