Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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