very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I feel like a drive thru vagina
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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