Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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