he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Congratulations! We have a period
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
