Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
