Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
