Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
