All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
