my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
