that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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