I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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