My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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