i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You can't special order awesome
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
