my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
