If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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