this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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