Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm at about main and main street
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
