Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
