Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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