Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(546): View more from

Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Cute underage boy is in my house.

(410): View more from Maryland

OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.

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(334): View more from Alabama

I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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(818): View more from California

I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

(1-818): View more from California

At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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(310): View more from California

I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.

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(276): View more from Virginia

Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.

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