why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
