Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You're a waste of cheezeits
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
