Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
